vol. iv — pondological case studies
"see fig. 4-b"
— Established mcmlxxxiv · suite 4½ —
Dr. Shellsworth's & Associates
A practice of accelerated childhood excavation · same-day diagnosis · no referral needed
licensed in three pond jurisdictions · accepts most insurances · accepts lettuce
❦ ✦ ❦
Dr. Cornelius Shellsworth
PHD · DPSY · 187 YRS PRACTICE
"Take your time. Whatever it is, we can probably trace it back to a Tuesday."
PATIENT INTAKE
Section I — Presenting Complaint
So. What's bothering you?
— or write your own —
Dr. Shellsworth is consulting his shell
(this may take a moment, he is a tortoise)
CROSS-REFERENCING DSM-TORTOISE V · CHEWING THOUGHTFULLY
EUREKA
MOMENT
CASE FILE №0042 · DSM–TORTOISE-V
The Diagnosis
a hauntingly specific affliction
I · Root Memory (Excavated)
II · The Inner Child Speaks
III · Constellation of Symptoms
IV · Recommended Healing Protocol
SEVERITY: MODERATE
C. Shellsworth
Cornelius Shellsworth, DPsy
Doctor of Pondological Psychology
DATE:
FEE: 14 LETTUCE LEAVES (BIBB)